Thursday, June 18, 2015

Not easy to move on, depend on my experience.

It not easy to move in for me. Especially if it already enter my comfort zone. Sebenarnya, diri kita sendirilah yang mengatur segala kondisi2 tersebut. Keterbiasaan yang merupakan salah satu faktor yang membuatnya terasa semakin sulit. For example, ketika saya sudah terbiasa tinggal di asrama. Awal nya terasa sangat sulit untuk jauh dari rumah ( kebetulan saya belum pernah tinggal jauh dari keluarga). Lambat laun saya mulai terbiasa dengan kondisi tersebut bahkan saya sudah menemukan titik kenyamanan. Menjalani hari hari 24 jam bersama teman. Keterbiasaan melakukan beberapa hal sendiri atau pun bersama teman lain nya. Such a fun with every minus and plus on it. Ketika tiba saat nya untuk meninggal kan itu semua. Selalu ada saat-saat yang membuat saya sangat rindu akan momen tersebut. Salah satu faktor besar yang menurut pengalaman saya untuk susah 'moving on'.
Salah dua nya adalah ketergantungan. Ketika saya selalu merasa jika ingin makan, harus ada rasa pedas nya, jika tidak makanan tersebut terasa hambar. Atau ketika saya ingin makan, akan selalu ada mas-mas pengantar makanan yang siap untuk mengantarkan makanan pesanan saya. Saat mas-mas tersebut sakit dan tidak dapat mengantarkan makanan, mungkin saja saya tidak akan makan saat itu.

Saya rasa dua hal tersebutlah yang menjadi faktor yang cukup berpengaruh susah nya untuk 'move on'. Sama hal nya ketika menjalin hubungan pacaran. Awalnya, kita bisa pergi keluar untuk mencari makan siang sendiri. Nonton bioskop dan karoke sendiri its ok. ( i ever do that sometimes). Ketika punya teman 'special' (re: pacar). Makan siang sama2. Makan malam sama2. Setiap hari keluar bareng ( dalam hal ini ketika masih merantau, saya bebas menentukan waktu saya untuk keluar). Ketika mau makan, yang tadinya mengandalkan 'mas-mas' pengantar makanan, menjadi mengandalkan pacar untuk membawakan makanan. Membutuhkan sesuatu, selalu pacar menjadi pilihan untuk meminta tolong. Kesana kemari selalu bersama. Semua hal-hal tersebut selalu di lakukan dalam jangka waktu tertentu (tergantung seberapa lama kamu sama-sama). Tiba saatnya kalian berpisah (re:putus) susah deh 'move on' nya. Apalagi kalo sebelumnya sudah pakai 'sayang'. It's difficult enough.
Lesson learn. Kalau masih dalam tahap pacaran. Sebaiknya tidak usah terlalu tergantung sama teman relationship kita dan jgn kebiasaan melakukan hal yang buat kamu terlalu nyaman. Tapi sebaliknya, kalau kamu mau pacar kamu tetap sama kamu ( re: susah move on dari kamu) buatlah dia selalu mengandalkan mu di berbagai situasi. Selalu usahain "yes you can do it as her/his order". Selalu buat kenyamanan tercipta ketika kalian saling berinteraksi. Bikin kebiasaan2 yang sweet to remain. Pokoknya be " im here for you " lah intinya.
Hal tersebut tidak cuma berlaku ke pacar saja. Ke teman, saudara, keluarga, sahabat dll.

Just share what's in my mind.
Abisnya lagi rindu berat sama suasana bandung ni. Rindu keadaan asrama. Rindu cuaca bandung. Rindu dago. Rindu semua aktifitas yang biasa di lakuin di sana. Momen-momen kuliah, bimbingan, praktikum, interaksi 'senior-junior', dress up kalau mau hang out, sahur bareng, buka puasa, lebaran, natalan, tahun baru, banyak lah yang bikin rindu. Because what? It was being my habitual. Now, im going to make another habit ( biar bisa move on).

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Turning 24 turning new world

Omg. This year im turning 24 yo. I know this will be very late post to share about my bday moment. Theres no very special moment happen. My bday just same day with my high school friends. So that seems every body focus on that. Hmm, they never give any special surprise anyway. But, this year so feel different from other couple year past. Before, im a dorm girl, i have so many friends stay together, we make a lot of bday surprise and i wont forget every bday surprise i have. I love it a lot and i miss it so much. Not just about the bday surprise, its about the moment we share together. I love to stay together with my girls. Sena. Jeane. Kiki. Au. Fajri. They're my friends till the last day in dorm and i wish it still ever after. They all was so nice, kind and my match friends will all the weakness and best we have. We just trying to be one. Ahhh.. Kind of miss the memory we preparation for our lebaran and christmas day. Tried to cook our opor ayam. Wake up to eat sahur together. Stress with all the task, final exam and all about the lectured things. Story behind KIA, praktikum, sidang and our final exam. Story about lecturer, how we got their sign, how we waiting for them, when we get them angry, haters and talking about 'other friends'. Laugher, tears, starving, full, food, clothes, shoes, almost EVERYTHING we share together. Hmmm,, you girls like more than my sister. I cant forget everything of ur kindness. Especially my last room mate. Though our friendship isn that close like before. I wont forget what already we share from the start. Moreover for all your help. Thank you so much much more for help me do every little thing. Helped me From Make my bed to finish my final exam. Without your help may be i'll get little difficulties for made my KIA. The second one is my chinggu. The person i can share every thing too, same as my room mate, but we just a room mate in praktikum. All stories all truth all liar i've done, i think i just share with her. This friendhip just created by it self and i wish it will ever lasting forever until we have hubby, child or however grand child. Please, no war, no problem, no emulation, no jealosy or everything that break ours. I dont know. People are very nice to me. I wish i can do the vice versa. I dont know how to replaying it all guys. So sad that we're not life together now. Now on we need to fight to be success.

Btw, back to talk about my age. Hehehe. I feel old. This is the year when i cant claim all my parents belonging as mine. I was like "i came by my car" now its be like "i came by my parents car". Before, almost all things in house is mine too, because it was brought by my parents. Now? Half of it was brought to my siblings that gain them monet by them selves. My siblings belonging doesnt mean my belonging and vice versa. Ahhh.. Everything has to be change. Now on, i still unemployment. I'm not yet gain my own money, i still depent on my parents money. I wish someday i'll be a millioner, so that i dont need to depen on other money, do traveling with my mom and dad and sibling and friend and husband and children. I still have fight for that and for other things more.
Mmmm, this year is the year when people who just meet you will ask "have you done ur lecturer?" "Have you been married?" "Where did you go work?" And many more classic question to give for woman who tread a middle age. I feel my way still far yet close. In this near time i'll enter the working world. Very nervous for it. Every day i pray to Allah so that i'll get the best job. The job that comfortable for me, so i can work with my passion. The job that produce much gives from Allah (re: rezeki). I just thinking about job that work in office work about napza ( napza was one of my fav study influence in social work)  stay in makassar or if its not in makassar better to other city, bandung for example :p . But theres so much procedure to past :(
Before i really enter the job world, i always thinking to to something usefull something like enterprising. But like how?? Already trying to make a food but its trouble in sale. Trying to make a cake but its trouble in the tools. Ha ha. No best thing came with no effort, right? I just keep try again and again.
Enough story for this post. Wish me luck in job world. Wish me meet my real future husband ( a couple year a head it's oke) :D Wish my dream come true :* aaaaamiiiiiin ya Allah.

You know i love you.
XOXO rifka azikin.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

There's problem every where

This few days was super duper hectic for me. Thanks Allah for all "rezeki" that you gimme until this day. Alhamdulillahhirobbilalamim. Beside that ive a few problem with my close friend again, bicker with my boy friend, and now with my sissy. Hwoah. I need to control mu self. Throw away bad habbit. All those emotional, bad moody, miss communication,easy to get angry etc. I just have to always remember that i cant live alone in this world, i need friends and my family to stand by me.
God, please forgive all my mistakes. I just believe to all Your plan. I just hope to have a good, confort job and have a much "rezeki" for make my parents happy and proud, have a couple that good for me. And i wish i will never depend on other.

So hard but who says its impossible?

Im trying to do the best for this time. Remember the last, too much drama that just hurt my self. Hahahaha. But, i don't know, seems like it doesnt work. I've try! I try to accept all the consequence. Im yours event we're not have a long time to know each other. Was that a mistake? I hope it isnt. I do all thing you ask as long as i can and sensible. I will do my best just want you know that i wanted you back. Distance is very matter for me. Ofcourse. But i've try. That's my hard things for me to do a relation. Hard doesn't mean impossible right? Just do it. As ling as we keep fighting to reach a success. I believe all things that we  do it best, we'll get the best result. But, if god doesn't create us for live together, i hope that all things that we've done isn't useless at all. We'll prepare our future for success in all aspect. I just always pray that we can got that success goal as soon as possible so that we can show the world that we mean to be together.
Right know, when i write this post. I just miss you so much. All i can do to just to share it in a word. I will never force you to come to my town. I know that you have a hard time to do it as soon as you can. The things that i really afraid of this relation is when my mom ask me to met the other that her want. Thats my mom's hobby. To be a match maker. It happen much time. She donit to my cousins and my sissy too. I don't know if she did it to me too. Hmmmmmmm!! As i said before, just done best!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Dear my friend

I didn't mean to make you disapointed. I didn't mean to let that tears fall down. I didn't mean to not to attend your special day. I know thats not right to do. But, i need a time to finish all things there. I cant being hurry to do it like what you're doing. You have yours that can give you money if sometimes you want to back again or maybe if you need something to do there if something you didn't finish yet. Me? I still asking all thing from my parents that make me not that easy to do it like yours. I still need time to enjoy the city that had so much memories. It's just about time. But i think you wouldn't understand and accept the reason. Thats isnt really reasonable. But, ahhh.. I dont know. I know you're angry. No responses with all my comment on your path and no replay on my twitter. That's enough to know that youre angry. It's ok. I'll asking for apology fot it. But, today, i just saw your respons for your other close, and you know what? You respons it nicely like she didnt have a mistakes like i've did. Same mistakes different treatment. Oh, know i realize. Maybe people think i'm jealous, yes! Maybe. But i just need poetoc justice, if you think im your friend. But thank you for all things that already we share together. That memories wouldnt being deleted from my memories. One thing again that make me disapoint is, when you write down something about yours, thats inpress that you didnt need us anymore when you have yours. And suddenly i remember your text that you tell me if you have him, theres nothing different to our friendship after it. But what ive got? I just feel you meke that differencesssss. Thats all what i think rite now. Once again sorry. And i cant handle my feeling to not being unmood. Thanks dear friend.

Monday, October 6, 2014

20 fact about me

This things has been trend in instagram and a few of my buddy challenge me about this. I wouldn't share this on my ig before 9 friends challenge me. Hehe. But i would to share this this things here before i share it in other social media. So, here they are. 20 fact about me that might be you didn't know at all:

1. I get bored easily and easily get angry.
2. People said me arrogant. But i dont think so.
3. Sometimes my word sounds rude but sometimes i don't mean that.
4.Moody and selfish.
5. My aims are make my parents proud and happy because of me.
6. I love my parents more than anything
7. I have a dream to own an island.
8. I like to see a man has a close friend, loyal and royal with their friends ( gimana sama ceweknya, sama temen nya aja baik kan, hhew), masculine, close mouthed with other but talk active with his gf and have a good self defense so that he can protect me.
9. Is my favorite.
10. I love sushi, but i didn't eat uncooked one. Chocolate, ice cream and meat ball sounds yummy for me. Since doctor prohibit, i didn't eat egg, chicken, cheese, instant noodle and less spicy food.
11. I love parfume and my mom hate the smell one of my favorite parfume.
12. Happy to dancing.
13. I'm a fresh graduation from Bandung college of social welfare and now i'm a money seeker (re: job seeker. Actually i dont need a job, i need much money without job. Haha. But, when i had job, i wish i could love it and work as my passion.
14.i hate lizard. Moreover when i see it on a food jar. Ewww!
15. Disgusted at particular things. *just in some condition.
16. Jazz, r n b, hip hop, electro, and country music are nice to listening.
17.  I like to smell baby breath. Jigong bayi smells heaven. Hhehew
18. I love photo and video. Those are  memories  real saver.
19. Im a coin collector. I'm collecting coin from any different country.
20. Stars, moon and twilight are lovely to see.

Thats all. Actually it's not enough for you to know me well just from those fact that i share, but at least you know rest. It just for fun. Have good day readers. Wish me luck for seeking job btw. XOXO. MWAH!

Monday, September 15, 2014

My new favorite person

Yes! I got a new favorite person. Yea.. He got that place. The place that i'be already told before. I don't know why, before, i really didn't feel anything this person. Normally, i'm not that easy to give other change to get close more than friend to me. Hmmm, i found time to think all about the risk if i let this person enter my life. But, all of those dread and worried has been answeres by this person. Why not? Let us know, if all that word that was saying from this person mouth is really true and this person can prove it. Let time answered the rest and God give the result. I think i really like this person. The things that make this person good to me are this person seems like accept all of my condition, the real one is when all of pimples on my face going activated. Ugh! I hate acne!. I think that's not a big problem to this person. Though, that was my super sensitif thing for this moment.

No reason to say no. Why not? So "yes" :)