Tuesday, February 24, 2015

There's problem every where

This few days was super duper hectic for me. Thanks Allah for all "rezeki" that you gimme until this day. Alhamdulillahhirobbilalamim. Beside that ive a few problem with my close friend again, bicker with my boy friend, and now with my sissy. Hwoah. I need to control mu self. Throw away bad habbit. All those emotional, bad moody, miss communication,easy to get angry etc. I just have to always remember that i cant live alone in this world, i need friends and my family to stand by me.
God, please forgive all my mistakes. I just believe to all Your plan. I just hope to have a good, confort job and have a much "rezeki" for make my parents happy and proud, have a couple that good for me. And i wish i will never depend on other.

So hard but who says its impossible?

Im trying to do the best for this time. Remember the last, too much drama that just hurt my self. Hahahaha. But, i don't know, seems like it doesnt work. I've try! I try to accept all the consequence. Im yours event we're not have a long time to know each other. Was that a mistake? I hope it isnt. I do all thing you ask as long as i can and sensible. I will do my best just want you know that i wanted you back. Distance is very matter for me. Ofcourse. But i've try. That's my hard things for me to do a relation. Hard doesn't mean impossible right? Just do it. As ling as we keep fighting to reach a success. I believe all things that we  do it best, we'll get the best result. But, if god doesn't create us for live together, i hope that all things that we've done isn't useless at all. We'll prepare our future for success in all aspect. I just always pray that we can got that success goal as soon as possible so that we can show the world that we mean to be together.
Right know, when i write this post. I just miss you so much. All i can do to just to share it in a word. I will never force you to come to my town. I know that you have a hard time to do it as soon as you can. The things that i really afraid of this relation is when my mom ask me to met the other that her want. Thats my mom's hobby. To be a match maker. It happen much time. She donit to my cousins and my sissy too. I don't know if she did it to me too. Hmmmmmmm!! As i said before, just done best!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Dear my friend

I didn't mean to make you disapointed. I didn't mean to let that tears fall down. I didn't mean to not to attend your special day. I know thats not right to do. But, i need a time to finish all things there. I cant being hurry to do it like what you're doing. You have yours that can give you money if sometimes you want to back again or maybe if you need something to do there if something you didn't finish yet. Me? I still asking all thing from my parents that make me not that easy to do it like yours. I still need time to enjoy the city that had so much memories. It's just about time. But i think you wouldn't understand and accept the reason. Thats isnt really reasonable. But, ahhh.. I dont know. I know you're angry. No responses with all my comment on your path and no replay on my twitter. That's enough to know that youre angry. It's ok. I'll asking for apology fot it. But, today, i just saw your respons for your other close, and you know what? You respons it nicely like she didnt have a mistakes like i've did. Same mistakes different treatment. Oh, know i realize. Maybe people think i'm jealous, yes! Maybe. But i just need poetoc justice, if you think im your friend. But thank you for all things that already we share together. That memories wouldnt being deleted from my memories. One thing again that make me disapoint is, when you write down something about yours, thats inpress that you didnt need us anymore when you have yours. And suddenly i remember your text that you tell me if you have him, theres nothing different to our friendship after it. But what ive got? I just feel you meke that differencesssss. Thats all what i think rite now. Once again sorry. And i cant handle my feeling to not being unmood. Thanks dear friend.

Monday, October 6, 2014

20 fact about me

This things has been trend in instagram and a few of my buddy challenge me about this. I wouldn't share this on my ig before 9 friends challenge me. Hehe. But i would to share this this things here before i share it in other social media. So, here they are. 20 fact about me that might be you didn't know at all:

1. I get bored easily and easily get angry.
2. People said me arrogant. But i dont think so.
3. Sometimes my word sounds rude but sometimes i don't mean that.
4.Moody and selfish.
5. My aims are make my parents proud and happy because of me.
6. I love my parents more than anything
7. I have a dream to own an island.
8. I like to see a man has a close friend, loyal and royal with their friends ( gimana sama ceweknya, sama temen nya aja baik kan, hhew), masculine, close mouthed with other but talk active with his gf and have a good self defense so that he can protect me.
9. Is my favorite.
10. I love sushi, but i didn't eat uncooked one. Chocolate, ice cream and meat ball sounds yummy for me. Since doctor prohibit, i didn't eat egg, chicken, cheese, instant noodle and less spicy food.
11. I love parfume and my mom hate the smell one of my favorite parfume.
12. Happy to dancing.
13. I'm a fresh graduation from Bandung college of social welfare and now i'm a money seeker (re: job seeker. Actually i dont need a job, i need much money without job. Haha. But, when i had job, i wish i could love it and work as my passion.
14.i hate lizard. Moreover when i see it on a food jar. Ewww!
15. Disgusted at particular things. *just in some condition.
16. Jazz, r n b, hip hop, electro, and country music are nice to listening.
17.  I like to smell baby breath. Jigong bayi smells heaven. Hhehew
18. I love photo and video. Those are  memories  real saver.
19. Im a coin collector. I'm collecting coin from any different country.
20. Stars, moon and twilight are lovely to see.

Thats all. Actually it's not enough for you to know me well just from those fact that i share, but at least you know rest. It just for fun. Have good day readers. Wish me luck for seeking job btw. XOXO. MWAH!

Monday, September 15, 2014

My new favorite person

Yes! I got a new favorite person. Yea.. He got that place. The place that i'be already told before. I don't know why, before, i really didn't feel anything this person. Normally, i'm not that easy to give other change to get close more than friend to me. Hmmm, i found time to think all about the risk if i let this person enter my life. But, all of those dread and worried has been answeres by this person. Why not? Let us know, if all that word that was saying from this person mouth is really true and this person can prove it. Let time answered the rest and God give the result. I think i really like this person. The things that make this person good to me are this person seems like accept all of my condition, the real one is when all of pimples on my face going activated. Ugh! I hate acne!. I think that's not a big problem to this person. Though, that was my super sensitif thing for this moment.

No reason to say no. Why not? So "yes" :)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Menunggu

Menunggu. Ya selama ini saya menunggu. Saya mengkosongkan tempat tersebut selama ini, bukan karena tidak ada yang lain datang. Mungkin sengaja. Mungkin pula belum ada yang pas. Mungkin juga saya menunggu org yang sama untuk itu. Entah mengapa orang yang sama tersebut benar-benar kembali. Setelah lama meninggalkan, tidak berkabar. Dengan tiba-tiba begitu saja kembali dan mungkin berniat mengisi tempat yang tadi saya kosongkan. Apakah ini hasil dari menunggu? Apa ini yang saya tunggu? Entah lah, tetiba terpikir kata "enak saja". Apapun alasannya,  sesuka hati pergi dan kembali lagi sedikit kurang sopan menurut penilaianku.

Namun, karena tempat tersebut memang masih kosong, terkadang rasa mengalahkan logika. Rasa tersebut membawa akal pikiran saya untuk memberi sedikit jalan untuk menembus tempat tersebut dengan beberapa petunjuk. Well, walaupun petunjuknya agak sedikit menguji kesabaran. Saya waktu itu merasa agak yakin tempat tersebut boleh kembali dimiliki. Tapi, saat petunjuk tersebut diberikan, sepertinya ada yang salah. Entah itu miss understanding atau memang dari awal sudah salah. Saya sangat mengerti dan mengahargai seluruh sikap baik yang ditunjukkan agar memperoleh tempst tersebut. Tapi dengan penuh pertimbangan. Saya memutuskan untuk mengajukan syarat-syarat tersebut.

Pada akhirnya, khawatir saya akan ditagih janji, saya berusaha lagi-lagi menunggu. Memang benar, menunggu merupakan kegiatan yang sangat menjenuhkan dan tidak enak. Tapi saat itu hanya itu yang dapat saya lakukan. Sampai saat tiba rasa jenuh. Merasa janji yang sudah terucap sudah expire. Muncul orang lain yang menawarkan untuk membersihkan tempat yang tadi saya kosongkan. Sulit tapi bukan berarti tidak bisa. Sedikit demi sedikit orang tersebut membersihkan dari yang tadinya 0% naik 30% dan sekarang saya rasa prosesnya mencapai 45%. Terkesan cepat, oleh karena itulah butuh cukup waktu. Hanya saja kekhawatiran untuk membiarkan tempat tersebut diisi orang yang belum cukup kenal dan mengingat apabila tempat tersebut diisi dan saya akan meninggalkan. Menjadikan hal tersebut menjadi lebih kompleks.

Setelah  kupikir kembali,  untuk apa menunggu orang yang  tidak menganggap kita berharga dan menyianyiakan mereka yang lebih menghargai kita tanpa melihat cantik, kekurangan atau apa pun itu yang menjadi nilai minus di mata awam yang tidak mengenal kita. Terkadang kita harus meninggalkan perasaan dengan mengandalkan  logika. Well,  thats hurt ..  Life must be realistic isnt it?

Untuk saat ini, well, saya merasa nyaman dengan orang yang mencoba menempati tempat kosong tadi. Entah itu akan berlanjut dan membuatnya benar-benar dapat  menempati tempat tersebut atau memang emmm, entahlah. We'll see.
The key is just follow me with my rule and ill follow yours.
Hump.. Too much too tell here. But,  hmmm, just let my self  and my close friends know the rest.  *blush*

Friday, May 30, 2014

My story of setiawaras

Halo. Postingan kali ini saya akan menceritakan tentang pengalaman praktikum 3 yang saya jalani selama 75 hari. Postingan kali ini juga tidak pakai bahasa ke barat-baratan (efek mengerjakan begitu banyak laporan dan skripsi yang mengharuskan terbiasa untuk menuliskan kata-kata yang cukup kaku dan baku). Okay. Lokasi praktikum saya terletak di sebuah desa di Kabupaten Tasikmalaya Kecamatan Cibalong, desa tersebut bernama Desa setiawaras. Desa Setiawaras memiliki 9 kedusunan dengan area yang cukup besar, seharusnya bisa dijadikan 2 atau 3 desa. Desa tersebut merupakan desa yang terjauh dari Bandung dibandingkan dengan desa teman-teman kampus saya yang lain. Tapi menurut saya, itu bukan menjadi masalah yang perlu di khawatirkan., selagi poskonya nyaman, air lancar, makan lancar, dosen pembimbing easy going. Itu bukan masalah besar. Toh sejauh apapun pasti bisa kok balik ke Bandung bagaimana pun caranya itu.

Warga Desa Setiawaras termasuk golongan orang-orang yang ramah. Supervisor desa kami (pak nana) pun sangat menyambut dengan baik kedatangan kami. Tidak hanya pak Nana, pak Dadih selaku pak kuwuh (kepala desa) beserta jajarannya juga menyambut hangat kedatangan kami. Tidak jarang ketika kami datang berkunjung ke rumah warga, kami membawa pulang buah tangan dari mereka.  Sangat senang rasanya berada di sana walaupun tidak jarang saya mencuri waktu untuk pulang ke bandung.
Pada akhir praktikum rasanya sangat malas untuk berkemas kembali ke bandung dan kembali kepada rutinitas yang telah menunggu. Pembuatan laporan yang nampaknya sangat banyak membuat rasa malas tersebut semakin bertambah. But well, ready or not. I have to face it to pass it all. Benar saja, hari H saat akan pulang, sangat terasa sedih dan cukup berat melihat wajah sendu dari aparat desa dan  ibu enung sang pemilik rumah. Well, kami berjanji untuk kembali lagi ke desa tersebut sebelum benar benar akan meninggalkan pulau jawa. InsyaAllah.
Ujian sidang praktikum 3 kelompok kami berjalan dengan lancar. Dosen penguji yang cukup ramah cukup mengurangi denyut jantung yang tadinya hampir meletus. Setelah keluar ruangan ujian rasanya nyawa yang tadinya hampir hilang seratus tahun kembali lagi ke raga ini. Hal yang berkesan selama proses ujian tersebut adalah, ketika sang ibu2 dosen penguji membuat logat aksen makassar sebagai lelucon. Ahahaha. I'm proud of tha that accent btw. Syukur Alhamdulillah tinggal satu ujian lagi saya bisa mendapatkan penambahan nama S.ST di belakang nama saya. Saat ini saya telah pada tahap perbaikan bab 1 2 3 dan pembuatan instrumen penelitian. Saya harap bulan juni sebelum anak-anak di lokasi penelitian saya libur sekolah sudah dapat turun untuk meneliti. Semoga saja hati ibu-ibu dosen ku yang cantik menjadi super turbo baik dan ramah dan memperlancar proses saya menjadi seorang sarjana. Aamiin.
Saya rasa cerita saya sudah terlalu panjang dan akan membosankan kalau saya teruskan karena untuk saat ini pastinya saya akan terus menulit tentang doa-doa saya untuk menghadapi KIA yang saya buat.
I hope you all have a blast day. Allah bless you. Have a nice weekend.
XOXO!