Saturday, February 11, 2012

it's blossom and wilted

it's start with unexpecting time and place, an unexpecting guy who introduce his self not more about 1 week, and he just hipnotized me to say yes when he start to close to me, before it's going happyly, flat, safe and peacefull. after the hollyday was come, we have to back to each our country,and it's just feel like a war every day. all the sweet things that he has usually do was gone suddenly.

i can't see you so emotional when we're in different place, and angry to me every day. that's so hurt when i can't be the best for the people i love,when i can't be what does you wanted. that's more hurt when you say that you has choose the wrong person, when you said there's so many girls better than me out side, when you said that so many my behaviour that you dislike.

i understand all your rule that have you made it's only for making me better, may be i just can't understand what did you thought inside your mind. i know exactly there's nothing special in me, i can't cooking, i can't be a sweet girl as your expected and all things that i have done seems like zero in your eyes.
i believe you will found a better one, who can be what did you wanted, the girl who can reduce your emotion, the one who can make your smile blossom in your face. i really can't make that things as long our few month relation.
maaf, sorry, and bian
and thank you for all things that you do for me that make me feel special, all things you granted that i wish you do for me, all your worried, all things you do to take care for me.very very sorry for every thing that made you mad out of control, appologize me for all my bad habbit that i can't handle it to make you happy, appologize me for all my mistake that i relize or not.
inside my deep heart there still full of your face until may be there's someone else can erase and refill it. wish god would give us the best for all, i believe every things has been arrange by him..

finally we're back to bandung, first time i meet you again,and i think that's feeling exactly still like the first time we do our relation, but i can't show it! i hate that i show you like i ignore you, when inside my heart said that i miss you so.feel like need some warm hugs in the night of the bandung coldness. when you told me that you still love me, i feel like what kind of bullshitis that? when someone said that he still love you with the opposite act. i thought when someone who really love you,he will never let you go what ever the reason. agree??

at my first tedo exercise, we meet again. it's flew like nothing happen, but i don't know to act like what when i talk to you, it's being awkward of all. but i've always gotta act like i don't care.

sometimes my mind just told me, can we fix our yesterday? but it's so impossible to start it first. hhaha. i'm a kind of girl that have a big ego and prestige. i'll wait for you to said it first, but time pass and go, i don't see any kind of your reaction. i really courious what did you think about? but aaaarrhhhggghhh! i do not know.
yesterday someone told me that you have been said that you still love me and nothing less even a bit, but you don't want to make any relationship to me or to another people, because you want to focus in your study, that's so classic reason!! that so ordinary to listen. i even can't accept that for some kind of reason. i've never disturb your lecturer or any kind of that.

what did you think guys, if you and your ex still care each other but you didn't have any status..? and you can't do anything to him€ or her? "that's so hurt!"

huuuuffff!!! now i know what to do. move on!!!! hhahhaha... do not stay to the people who can make you jus feel hurt, and don't wanna make you better even don't want to be beside you every time. because something like that is not good isn't it???
just stay away, make a distance and stop thing about it anymore.

and once more boy! if yo decide some thing like that, please don't act sweet to me, don't over care of me, just do it as same as ordinary friends. because it's make me feel confuse, really confuse! just take it or leave it and case close!

i can't lie to my self, since i lost him i do really missed him, i don't know how does his brain work to think about this problems, it's 1 month pass since that day, and i know i ve to be adult to solve this kind of problems, get the positive and leave the negative... you can do it kirei!

i have to be more sarcastic to you to made me lost all my feelings. but it's just made some arguing with you about my attitude to you. huh!

please help me to forget you.
if seperated is the best way, do not make it seems we're too close, keep the distance to reduce the feel. :)


Timur said...

to love is to let go, to be loved is to be hurt.

fyka said...

Just enjoy it all.